Touching The Gates

I had grown to believe that I was alone on this journey. Having embraced the full scope of my solitude, I found solace in introspection, and took every opportunity available to me to look inward. For better or worse, that mentality had become my anchor, which also took me to the depths of despair throughout my time as an alcoholic and drug abuser. This blog has been my therapy, and these moments that I’ve shared with you could, in no way, shape, or form, compare to the memory of having lived this life. Every day that I choose to open up, and give myself to you, is a day that I refused to give myself to the darkness that had once consumed me, and because of this, it had become nearly impossible for me to find relatable figureheads. I thought, “who else but me could understand what it feels like to be a star, while having touched the gates of heaven?”. The near-death experiences that were self-perpetuated allowed me to see the world from a lens that most people could never fathom, and through my sobriety, I’ve managed to take control of myself in ways that has allowed me to step into the next phase of my life wearing an armor that protects me from my demons. This armor gives me the strength to move forward fearlessly, and cloaks me in a confidence that is allowing me to transcend all the limitations that life had placed on me. My trust in the universe, in God, and in time, is at an all-time high, and I’m watching the life I once dreamt of manifest itself through my works, my choices, and through those that God has put in my path. Having spent an eternity staring at myself in the mirror, you’d imagine my surprise when the reflective properties of the glass wall began to fade, unveiling not just another beautiful soul, but an equal. Someone who has seen the darkness, and deserves the light. Someone as revolutionary and groundbreaking as I have always believed myself to be. It may sound cliché, but deep in the core of my soul, I understand that nothing will ever be the same for me. I know now that I’m not alone. I was never alone, and time has granted me the gift of hindsight once again. My purpose has never been more clear, and the lives we change will continue to validate the fact that we were born to be exactly who we are at this very moment. This was always God’s plan.

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