Our wedding day would mark the end of an era. My reputation for being “community dick” had, up until this point, only been softened by the growing exclusivity of my tastes. Not even my brother believed me when I first informed him of Brenna and my engagement. My life had only revolved around my pursuit of superstardom, and living the lifestyle of a starving artist, I had no idea how to be a husband. I didn’t understand finances or credit. I didn’t have a savings account or working credit cards. I lived day to day, believing that one day when the world saw me, my financial problems would resolve themselves. Brenna knew this. While no one, not even us, could have truly predicted what our lives would be like after making this decision, the fog ahead did nothing to deter us from the proceedings. I was essentially poor, and without a second’s hesitation, she opted to use her grandmother’s ring after the proposal; a consolation prize to my ego for not being able to afford her one. My bachelor party came and went, and on the day I was to be married, the aroma of alcohol, lube, and open ass hinted at the memory of the cheap stripper the night before. We gathered friends and family to meet at City Hall and awaited our final witnesses. As complaints about late arrivals intensified, Brenna and I sat off to the side in our own little world. Upon entering, we finalize any pending paperwork to be submitted and enter the chapel to speak our vows. She stands before me, opening up her heart, and reveals the depths of her love for me with every word spoken. As the room awaits my response, my talent for writing and public speaking elude me, and I smile. “I was a whore, and you saved me”. The room begins to laugh, and once again, my self-deprecation has served a purpose. We’d spend our evening having dinner at Red Lobster, and would pick up the party essentials on our way home. As we drank and smoked the night away in celebration, the looming reality of my unemployment casts a shadow on my light. While my skillset has allowed for each stint of “on the books” unemployment to be padded by a lifetime of freelancing, the uncertainty of my future led me to panic. Without ever taking an official honeymoon, we would wake up the next day and continue to work.

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