The decision weighed heavily on my chest, like an anvil crushing my heart. I knew it was time to make major changes in my life, and as much as it hurt, I couldn’t stay with Brenna anymore. She still lived with her family, and my presence in that house only made it increasingly difficult for us to mend our marriage. I needed to clear my mind and focus on my career, without any distractions or complications. So, I took a job with a friend and former employer at a warehouse in Queens. He also had local real estate and offered me a small room in an apartment building he owned, making him both my employer and landlord. It was a risky situation, but it seemed like a better option than dealing with the issues I currently had with my in-laws. The day came when I had to sit down with Brenna and tell her my decision. My palms were sweaty, my heart raced, and my stomach churned with anxiety. I sat across from her, the sunlight streaming through the window casting a warm glow on her face. She looked so beautiful, and the thought of leaving her side crushed me even more. We sat there for a long time, holding hands and talking about the future, both of us trying to stay strong for each other. As the day approached for me to leave, the anxiety about restarting this job and moving into a new place gnawed at me. The uncertainty was overwhelming. I’d make my way to Queens, quickly adjusting to my new arrangement. In the evenings, after long days of work, I would retreat to my small room in the apartment building with a bag full of beer. The modest space, with its single mattress and window, was a far cry from the life I had imagined for myself. It was a constant reminder of where I was in life and what I was working toward. I spent my nights drunk, in solitude, reflecting on my choices and vowing to become the man I knew I could be.
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