The Things I've Done

I’ve come to understand something about myself, and my story. As much as I’ve poured out love throughout my journey, and put myself in situations where I had given the best of me to others, there is an underlining factor, a small footnote if you will, that will always plague me. Thus, I find myself drawing closer and closer to the matter of fact. I am a man who made a deal with the devil, and as I’m continually guided down this road that ends with everything I had asked for on that fateful night, I’m hyper aware that the hard work, sleepless nights, incredible heartaches that I’ve experienced, and all of the ups and downs throughout my journey will all fall short to the fact that I signed my name in blood. Because of this, there is a bittersweet feeling that overcomes my being in knowing that my success will ultimately validate the superstition in believing that the contract that I made was, in fact, real. The heights in which I’m reaching for will make many in the masses believe that if they do what I did, they will achieve as I have. But I warn you, tread carefully. I did what I did for my own reasons, and I’ve worked tirelessly, every single day, to ensure that the life that I envisioned for myself and those I love will come to fruition. I would never want anyone that I love to do what I’ve done. I put myself on the chopping block, knowing that if there was any truth to the ceremony which was performed, then not only would I suffer on earth, but in the afterlife as well. Who knows? I still struggle in my beliefs, and the magnitude of what I’ve opted to do with my life wavers back and forth on a second by second basis, until a moment arises in which I’m quickly reminded that I am so much more than this body. I am a symbol. I embody the essence of self belief. I’ve hit the bottom more times than I could remember, and yet I’ve managed to not only find my footing, but spread my wings in a way that is allowing me to see the world from a bird’s eye view. I can see it all, and my quest to conquer has taken priority.

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