The Mind Of A Visionary

The photo my mom sent me, taken from one of her old albums stashed away in the closet, captured a moment from my youth – a time before the allure of the pop and the entertainment industry would envelop me. I stared at the photo, remembering the simplicity of that time. A smile crossed my face as I studied my younger self, dressed in a Super Mario Bros t-shirt, a pinstripe Nike cap, shorts, and white sneakers. My wardrobe was a testament to my indifference towards high fashion, a notion still relevant to this very day. The photo was taken at one of the basement parties that were frequently thrown by the families within the Jehovah’s Witness congregation I attended. The room was always bustling with life, the tables laden with rice, beans, pernil, and potato salad. They seemed to vibrate with the energy of the speaker system that bumped Latin music all night long, enticing the dancing crowd. While the elders remained seated, engaged in deep discussions about ministry guidelines and local gossip, “los jovenes,” the group of kids, would congregate off to the side. They competed in little games designed to boost their egos, each striving to outdo the other. I, on the other hand, struggled to find my place within these crowds, feeling like an outsider. My trusty old Walkman tape deck and dusty headphones were my constant companions, providing me solace amidst the chaos. The mixtapes my brother left behind at my mother’s house became the soundtrack to my solo meditation sessions. As I let DMX and Nirvana wash over me, I drifted away into a world of musical bliss, providing a temporary escape from the reality that seemed to suffocate me. I had no idea then what life had in store for me, or the incredible journey I was about to embark on just a few short years later. But I knew one thing for certain: I longed to create a world of my own, a world where I could truly belong. Little did I know, that world would manifest itself in the form of the entertainment industry, drawing me into an adventure that would challenge me to confront my demons, redefine my identity, and ultimately, set me on the path to stardom. As I continued to stare at the photo, I wondered what I would tell myself if I could travel back to that time and the answer was clear: absolutely nothing. I don’t have the strength to do it all again, but I don’t have to. I already did it, and I wouldn’t have done it any differently. I am exactly who I’m supposed to be right now, and that, in itself, is the most amazing feeling.