The Meltdown

The sun was setting on another day, its last golden rays casting a warm glow on the city streets. I was walking home after a long day, trying to clear my head and make sense of my life. As I turned a corner, my eyes fell upon a massive poster plastered outside a local theater. It was the promotional artwork for Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “In The Heights”, featuring Anthony Ramos’ face front and center. A surge of jealousy washed over me as I stared at the poster, feeling as if the universe was mocking me, constantly reminding me of the star I could have been if I hadn’t been such a colossal fuck-up. With a bitter taste in my mouth, I headed straight to the nearest bar to drown my sorrows. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had been robbed of the opportunity to shine, all because my family hadn’t nurtured me into stardom the way other families had done for their child prodigies. As I gulped down beer after beer, the resentment continued to build, and I couldn’t help but judge my family for their apparent indifference to my potential. The more I drank, the more I dug deeper into the regret and shame I had carried for years, as I struggled to find my way in the world while people with much less to offer were handed so much more on a silver platter. It all seemed so unfair, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I was cursed. Perhaps the world would be better off if I just disappeared. Without a viable Plan B, I had invested everything I had into my ill-defined Plan A, which had led me down a multitude of paths that spread me thin. The alcohol only fueled my anger and frustration, as if a demon was churning inside my stomach, forcing the darkest parts of me to the surface. That night, as I stumbled out of the bar, I couldn’t help but glance at the “In The Heights” poster one more time. The vibrant colors and excitement it portrayed stood in stark contrast to the murky pit of despair and self-pity I found myself in. My fists clenched tightly as I fixated on my family’s failure to recognize the talent within me, and to guide me to stardom. With every step I took away from the theater, the anger grew inside me, threatening to consume me whole. The bitter resentment weighed heavily on my heart, as I cursed the world for not giving me the chance I so desperately craved.