The glow of the computer screen flickered, casting a dim light on my face as I sat in front of it, the bitter taste of another beer lingering in my mouth. The room felt suffocating, the tension between me and Brenna as thick as the haze clouding my mind. My vision blurred, and I felt a hot tear roll down my cheek. I picked up the beer, my hand trembling slightly, and took another sip. Brenna, who had been in the room all along, caught the sight of my misery. At that moment, I attempted to manipulate her once more, to make her understand my suffering. “I can’t stop drinking,” I choked out, my voice wavering with feigned vulnerability. But Brenna would have none of it. Her eyes flashed with anger, and she squared her shoulders, preparing for battle. I lashed out, trying to deflect the guilt I felt. Our voices rose, echoing in the empty space between us. Her words cut me like a knife, slicing through the lies and deception I had built up over the years. Mine were nothing but baseless accusations, pitiful attempts at self-defense. I stood there, feeling exposed and vulnerable, as she continued to lay out the truth of my life. The man she had married, the man she had watched spiral further and further into addiction, was barely recognizable. As she recounted the years, three words pierced through the chaos in my mind, ringing like a death knell in my ears: “You’re an alcoholic!” I couldn’t say anything in return. There were no sweet words, no clever turns of phrase that could save me now. The alcohol that had once dulled my senses couldn’t numb the agony of this moment. I stormed out of the house, my heart pounding in my chest. As I walked through the streets of Brooklyn, tears streaming down my face, I felt the weight of my choices bearing down on me. The cool air cut through my drunken haze, making me shiver as I realized how close I was to losing everything. The streetlights cast eerie shadows on the pavement, and I felt like a ghost, haunted by the echoes of my own failures. With each step, the truth became clearer: if I didn’t change right there and then, I would die alone. The gravity of that thought stopped me in my tracks, my breath catching in my throat. I looked up at the dark sky above me, searching for a glimmer of hope in the vast expanse. And at that moment, I made a decision. I would fight back against the darkness, and reclaim my life from the clutches of addiction. For Brenna, for my daughter, and for the kid I once was, watching “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey” and believing that I could be a superstar one day – I would face my demons and emerge victorious, stronger, and wiser for the battles fought. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the journey ahead, and began walking back toward the life I had left behind.

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