The Forward Motion

The sunlight pierced through the curtains, casting a warm glow on my face as I stirred from my sleep. I could feel the stiffness in my legs before I even attempted to move. The sensation was reminiscent of a rigorous workout, though I knew it was the result of spending countless hours hunched over a computer screen. My body had grown accustomed to the sedentary lifestyle, and yesterday’s FirstLive gig setup had taken its toll. I groggily rolled out of bed, feeling a sharp, unwelcome pain course through my legs. It was as if my muscles were protesting my every movement, reminding me of the importance of self-care. I hobbled around the apartment, each step accompanied by a wince. Leg day had never been a favorite of mine, but today I was acutely aware of the price I paid for neglecting it. Despite the discomfort, my mind couldn’t help but race ahead to the phone call scheduled later in the day. Months of preparation had led to this moment. The late nights, the strategy sessions, and the meticulous groundwork – all in line with this potential business deal that could change everything. The anticipation gnawed at me, making it impossible to focus on anything else. As the clock inched closer to the appointed hour, I found myself tethered to my phone, the weight of the impending conversation hanging heavy in the air. Finally, the call commenced. We exchanged pleasantries before diving into the heart of the matter – discussing our past, present, and future, as well as the possibilities for collaboration. Although I was an adept writer, I often found myself floundering in verbal conversations. Words would escape me, and the points I wanted to make seemed to vanish as soon as the call connected. Aware of my shortcomings, I chose to listen intently, mentally recording every word and nuance. I resolved to absorb the information and then later, when the conversation had ended, I would articulate my thoughts through the written word. It was a method that had served me well in the past, and today would be no different. After the call, I knew I needed time to process and decompress. Retrieving my trusted Oculus Quest 2, I submerged myself in the virtual world. I selected an unfamiliar golf course, craving the sense of newness it offered. The digital landscape unfurled before me, a vivid tapestry of greenery, rolling hills, and treacherous bunkers. I found solace in the game, and surprisingly, my performance exceeded my expectations, finishing 18 holes at 5 under par. As I navigated the virtual course, memories of my life before sobriety bubbled to the surface. The deli trips, the alluring scent of a cold beer from an open bar – all constant reminders of the battle I continued to fight. Alcoholism was a relentless foe, one misstep threatening to unravel the empire I had painstakingly constructed. But with each small victory, I moved forward – sometimes by leaps and bounds, sometimes by mere millimeters. My story was unfolding, and I was determined to see it through, embracing every twist and turn on my path.