Surface To Air

Last night, I watched my daughter drift away to sleep alongside me, and I felt a peace within me that has spilled over into my morning. It’s hard to put into words, if I’m being honest. But having written so much of my life, I can only continue to try my best to explain what I’m feeling. Firstly, the anger and resentment that I’ve felt throughout this process has managed to fade away, and this feeling of nothingness is proving to be more liberating that I could’ve possibly imagined. This comes with the acceptance that all things happen under the hands of God, and this thing that I’ve been in tune with all my life has been guiding me to a place that only I seem well-equipped for. I was born a preacher. I’ve been taking the stage for as long as I can remember, and quite frankly, it’s where I belong. This voice that I was given comes with a tremendous responsibility, to myself, and to those that I love dearly. Remembering what it was like to have shrank myself to the limits and expectations of others, I can see a clear contrast between the life I once had, and the life that I’m currently living, and by all accounts, my vibrations are much higher these days. I’ve rid myself of the toxicity, not just around me, but within me. I stopped searching for a savior, and saved myself. I stopped looking within others for the things that I lacked within myself, and I put an end to the constant loop of distractions that have plagued my progress. Relationships are only beneficial when you are able to grow together, and I’ve come to find that my relationship with myself and with God is the one I’ve neglected the most over the years. Prayers have taken the shape of conversations, and I use meditation music to clear my mind and allow information to be sent to me from the cosmos. Those I once loved and respected are actively teaching me lessons from afar, serving as a guide of what not to do. I find myself feeling a sense of pity in knowing that the very thing they are searching for is already within them, all while understanding that they are lightyears away from that realization. I will continue to lead by example, and take my place on the throne with my name on it. Everyone has their own journey, and time is unforgiving. But the fact of the matter remains. I’m already in flight, and the further I go into the stratosphere, the smaller the world seems.

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