Self-Centered Narcissist

I’ll never be sure as to whether or not this was all intentional. It’s hard to say, especially when you feel as though you’ve been guided by something your entire life. But I’ve come to an understanding that has left me feeling at total peace with myself. I am, in fact, a self-centered narcissist. For me to be in the exact position that I’m in at this moment, the good and the bad, are the direct result of me being the type of person that I am. I mean, let’s that this blog for instance. How self-centered does someone have to be to have done this? To have documented their entire existence on a platform accessible to the entire world? To have done everything in their power to monetize the fact that they still breathe oxygen and exist on this planet? My book, in all of it’s wisdom and glory, was created out of years of suffering; and not just my own. I could only see the world through my eyes, and what always caught my attention was the spotlight. The worship a superstar feels on stage from adoring fans. I saw this through everything else. Through friendship. Through marriage. The focal point of my attention was always the grand stage, and even after becoming a father, I suffered internally for not having made it big before my daughter was born, and in turn, created a world of internal anguish and rage that plagued everyone around me. While real world issues were occurring, I remained steadfast on my pursuit of fame and fortune, never shaking off the feeling that I was destined for stardom. Everything comes around full circle, and I’ve spent far too long stepping on the heads of anyone who got too close to me, as I reached up toward my dreams. I’m stuck in my ways, and instead of trying to change who I am, I’m going to use the lessons learned throughout this journey to move with caution, in solitude, and use the person that I am to my advantage. To do what I’m doing, you have to be out of your fucking mind, and I have no issues in that department.

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