Self Analysis: A Dark Time

As I spent more time with Brenna, I tried my best to navigate my way back into position as her husband and provider. I knew I had to change my ways, and I was determined to make things right. One day, we received an invitation to a BBQ that would be hosted on the rooftop of an associate’s house. As we made our way to the BBQ, I couldn’t help but glance at my reflection as I walked by the glassy storefronts. My dark demeanor was a reflection of where my mind was at that time. I felt worn down by the challenges of the past and the weight of the future, but I was determined to keep moving forward. Upon arriving at the rooftop, I was immediately struck by the beautiful view of the city. The sun shone brightly upon us, casting a warm glow over the gathering of people. We sat down, enjoying hotdogs and cold beer, and I couldn’t help but stare out over the balcony to the busy streets below, my mind racing with thoughts about my life. Where was I headed? What was I doing? It all started as a chase for the “pop” – that taste of fame and success. But now, my definition of success was no longer clear in meaning, and the muddled layers of my desires formed a puddle in my mind. Bottle after bottle, I would make the most of this occasion, and drink to my fill. The more intoxicated I got, the less distraught I would feel. My ego would slowly take control of the steering wheel, and the low points of my life would no longer be a topic of conversation.

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