It was the day of the Roach TV / NOE TV Launch Party at Pine Box Rock Shop, and my nerves were shot. Just the night before, I had done a live interview on The Subjective Perspective show, trying to keep my cool as I answered questions and shared my story. I couldn’t shake the anticipation that clung to me, even as Nicole and I packed up all of our gear and made our way to the venue. As we set up, we transformed the space into an atmosphere that screamed fame, complete with a red carpet and backdrop. The stage lights gleamed off the polished wooden floors, casting an ethereal glow across the room. My heart was pounding, knowing that Brenna, my wife, would be in attendance that night. Her presence added another layer of anxiousness, a heavy weight on my chest that I struggled to breathe through. The event went smoothly, with film showcases and live musical performances gracing the wooden room in the back of Pine Box. The air buzzed with excitement as the audience soaked in the creative energy, their cheers and applause filling my ears. We drank the bar dry, but the night was not without its disturbances. One of our guests was tossed out by his neck, causing a scene that drew the attention of everyone in the room. Despite this hiccup, the party was a success. As the night winded down, a familiar depression crept in, knowing that Brenna wouldn’t be leaving with me. My heart ached as I realized that, with all that I was doing and all that I felt I was accomplishing, I still struggled to balance my personal life with my career. My wife and I had been on the rocks for some time, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I felt guilty, as if my ambition was getting in the way of my relationships. But I also knew that I couldn’t let anything get in the way of my goals, and after my oath, it became my obligation. I needed to find a way to strike a balance between my personal and professional life, and that meant making some difficult decisions. Nicole and I left the venue that night, high off of the thrill of producing our launch party. I was happy for her because she deserved it. I, on the other hand, felt as though my sanity was slipping, and the life I was trying to create was destroying the life I had already created. My heart felt heavy, torn between the pursuit of my dreams and the love I held for my family. I knew that I had to find a way to reconcile the two, and to make sense of the chaos that threatened to consume me.
