The news of Brenna’s pregnancy sent my emotions into a whirlwind. On one hand, I was ecstatic – the thought of having a little girl to honor my late sister Angie filled me with indescribable joy. On the other hand, though, the weight of responsibility and the uncertainty of our future gnawed at me relentlessly. We were broke, with me couch surfing between the recording studio and Brenna’s tiny room in her family’s house. Freelancing kept me afloat, but it wasn’t enough to provide for a growing family. As I grappled with the impending responsibility, Eddy Duran reentered my life, bringing along a new chapter of his original saga, “Pale Blue Light.” A screening of the series was organized, and despite the excitement of being part of a creative project, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were all just spinning our wheels. Each person in that room had talent, but none of us seemed to be in a position to truly help one another advance. Throughout the evening, attendees posed in front of the step and repeat, snapping photos for their social media followers. As Brenna and I stood there, I tried to reassure her, saying, “It’ll all make sense one day.” But even as the words left my lips, I couldn’t help but question whether I truly believed them. Time was running out, and with a baby on the way, I knew I had to make a choice: either rise to the occasion and create a better life for my family or let my fears consume me and destroy any chance at happiness. The pressure was immense, and I could feel the weight of expectations bearing down on me. I knew I had to make a change – and fast. But as the night wore on, and the alcohol flowed, the reality of my situation wavered by the minute, and I’d once again find myself struggling to accept that I was not the superstar I envisioned myself to be at this point of my life.
Similar Posts
A Wave Of Emotions
Using the boost of confidence I’d gained from the overwhelmingly positive responses to my podcast tour, I summoned the courage to take the next step. With a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation, I reached out to every podcast on my meticulously researched list. Each click of the send button…
Too High And Too Dry
I hadn’t seen my roommate for a little while, which was starting to concern me as the rent was due. I sat in the living room, contemplating whether I should open the door to his bedroom to see if he was ok. I thought, “what if he’s dead”, or “what…
Something Special
It was a quiet evening at my place, and Alonzo had come over to chill. We had been busy with the Bud and Roach Show, booking celebrity guests and getting our names out there. It was an exciting time for us, and we were riding high on our growing success….
Small Stage Big Dream
The next gig we played was a far cry from the Blue Parrot Lounge. The stage was smaller, the lights dimmer, and the crowd, well, it was practically non-existent. It was just a handful of people scattered throughout the room, barely paying attention to us as we took the stage….
Reading and Writing
I’ve been reading a lot lately. Typically, I would use my commute as a time for meditation, or distraction. With my cell phone always in hand, I was no stranger to doom scrolling. But recently, I found myself within the New York City subway system, deeply engaged in a copy…
The Home Studio
The weight of failure had been bearing down on me for what felt like an eternity. My artistic fire had dwindled to mere embers, and I desperately needed something to rekindle the flames of my once-thriving career. I needed to feel like an entertainer again. Anything would have helped in…