As the days went by, my “church friends” seemed to be getting closer and closer to me. They would hang around me and say weird things like “I want to be Cheap Products,” as if Cheap Products was some sort of exclusive club. It started out as a passion project, a bedroom band that grew into something bigger than myself. The idea was that no matter what equipment or resources I had, I was going to make beautiful music with it. It was a symbol of resilience and creativity. But as I gained more attention, things started to spiral out of control. A “friend” of mine started creating t-shirts with blue letters spelling out “Cheap Products,” and booking “living room performances” where I would lead a band of subpar musicians through some of the worst covers imaginable. Being around me became a fad, and it seemed like everyone wanted to be a part of it. But the fact that everyone around me was older than I was started to weigh heavily on me. I wanted to be taken seriously as a musician, and it seemed like no one was willing to see past the novelty of it all. The drinking didn’t help either. I thought it would make me more confident and outgoing. But all it did was make me sloppy and unreliable. Cheap Products was becoming a symbol of my own insecurity, and I was willing to sacrifice my own dignity to keep the attention on me.
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