For A Minute There …

I hit a wall yesterday, a solid barrier that halted my progress and left me gasping for air. It was as if the darkness itself had materialized, lurking in the shadows and preparing to engulf me entirely. In that moment, I found myself sinking to one of the lowest mental places I had experienced since embracing sobriety. The weight of my perceived failures bore down upon me, suffocating any sense of accomplishment I had managed to muster. It seemed as though every endeavor I pursued was doomed to be feeble and fruitless, forever lost amidst a sea of pathetic attempts at greatness. The bills piled up, a daunting reminder of the responsibilities that burdened my shoulders. The sinking pit of despair beckoned me, and in its depths, the dark thoughts began their relentless assault on my psyche. Alone and without the distractions of others, I was defenseless against their relentless ravaging. My mind, plagued by the inherent restlessness of my ADHD, ignited the flames of my depression. The incessant lack of focus, my eternal struggle to grasp even the most basic of tasks, left me in a constant state of anger and frustration. While others seemed to effortlessly navigate life’s challenges, I felt perpetually trapped in a cycle of fleeting highs and crushing lows. The weight of my shortcomings threatened to crush my spirit entirely. But then, a flicker of hope emerged in the form of purpose. As I retrieved my daughter from school, a newfound determination sparked within me. The darkness that had threatened to consume me receded slightly, allowing rays of light to penetrate the murky depths of my mind. Conversations with my brother and Storm acted as lifelines, pulling me out of the treacherous mental pit. With their support, I forged ahead. The night became a frenzy of activity as I scrubbed away various projects from Dominate The Globe. Even though I had recently uploaded a podcast showcasing those very endeavors, my restless mind craved progress and purpose. My thoughts raced, a symphony of chaos, but amidst the clamor, I found clarity. To give meaning to my relentless pursuits, I made a pivotal decision. SPOTLIGHT, once an integral part of Dominate The Globe, found a new home within Purfek Storm Group. Recognizing that my current path was unsustainable, I charted a new course, desperately hoping that the mess inside my mind would manifest into something greater than a mere sense of inadequacy. Without the solace of a beer to drown out the voices, I remained adrift in the tempestuous sea of my thoughts. Each wave threatened to capsize me, but I clung to the belief that there was a purpose to my journey.