Finding Light

The past few days have been filled with deep meditation. I find it increasingly necessary to self-analyze more frequently, as the drastic changes I experience seem to be happening rapidly. First and foremost, I’m fully aware of my massive ego. For all the enlightenment I’ve had the privilege to obtain throughout this journey, it’s difficult for me to get past myself. Within my mind, I am the apex of the universe; a centerpiece that holds everything in place. That is a huge issue for me, especially because it was a lifetime of overcompensating to supplement for the feeling of inadequacy I had always felt that put me in this position. I had to make myself larger than life, and in doing so, I created a monster who believes the world revolves around him. This very blog is a testament to this fact. It seems as though everything is a part of “my story”, as oppose to a joint human experience, the very kind that I speak of in Change Your Mind: A Guide To Dreaming. For having written the book, I still have to consult the text repeatedly, and relearn the lessons that I hope people will take away from my mind. But there is a purity that I encountered recently that exposed me to a light that I had yet to see, and the sensory overload that I experienced firsthand has left me in a constant state of thought. For all the good that I have in me, I am completely useless until I learn how to integrate with society. How to not be the centerpiece, and instead just be. I know that I am a work in progress, and this blog may very well serve as a personal diary that only I read. But I woke up today, and I pray that I wake up tomorrow, so that I can continue forward trying to master this thing called life.

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