Blog Kicking My Ass

As I sat down in front of my computer, I began to realize the enormity of the task ahead of me. The blog was an accumulation of my life’s experiences, a collage of memories and moments that were sometimes so painful that I could barely stand to recall them. I had spent 15 years using alcohol to numb these feelings, but now, sober and committed to this project, I was about to dive headfirst into the darkest recesses of my past. The countless hours spent organizing and revisiting these memories were grueling. It felt as if I was sifting through the wreckage of my life, picking up the pieces and trying to make sense of it all. Fear and anxiety gripped me as I thought of the exposure that would come with sharing these experiences with the world. I couldn’t help but think of my mother’s words: “Everything that is done in the dark will be brought to light.” The idea of being so vulnerable, of baring my soul for all to see, felt terrifying. But I knew I couldn’t back down. I owed it to myself and the people who had stood by me through thick and thin to tell my story. And so, I chipped away at the wall I had built to protect myself. As I dug deeper into the memories, the stories flowed like a torrential downpour. There was the time my childhood friends and I, the Grove Street Family, used to play on the streets of our neighborhood, innocent and carefree. There were the countless gigs with my Incubus tribute band, Morning View, feeling the power of the music course through my veins. And then there were the darker times, like the chaotic nights spent recording the Bud and Roach Show, when alcohol fueled our antics and ultimately brought me to my lowest point. As I worked on the blog, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of my past gradually lifting. By sharing my story, I was not only finding healing for myself but also offering hope to others who might be struggling with their own battles. And so, I stood on the world’s stage, heart pounding in my chest, ready to take on the challenge of telling my story, undaunted by fear and driven by the need to live up to the name, King Roach.

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