As I continued to shed the person that alcohol had led me to be, I found myself going back in time musically, listening to all the classic bands that had shaped my youth and dreams of being a rockstar. The sting of my love-hate relationship with Incubus had worn off, and I dug deep into the catalog, reminding myself of the very reason why they were such important figures in my life. Without alcohol clouding my mind, I focused on the lyrics this time around, and the meaning behind each word written by Brandon Boyd. Having spent most of my life simply admiring the music on surface value, it felt like a cold, hard smack in the face when I realized that Brandon had been speaking this truth all along. Fungus Among Us, Incubus’ 1995 release, had laid down the foundation for the very realization that took me 35 years and a DMT shaman to figure out for myself: there is magic in this world, hidden in plain sight by those who possess the knowledge. We are only held back by the limits we set on ourselves, and we are all cells of the universal body that binds us together. As I continued down the discography, every song took a new meaning, broadening my appreciation for the band that had meant so much to me, and training my subconscious to be receptive to the truth that awaited me along my journey. I realized that the messages in these songs had served as a guiding light throughout my darkest times, even if I hadn’t recognized them until now. With this newfound understanding, I felt a surge of creative energy within me. I found myself picking up my guitar again, pouring my soul into the chords and melodies that once fueled my dreams. This time, my music wasn’t just about chasing fame or fortune; it was about telling my story and connecting with others who might be going through similar struggles. Revisiting the music of my past opened my eyes to the power that art can hold, and its ability to heal, inspire, and bring people together. My newfound sobriety, combined with this deep dive into the music that had shaped me, allowed me to see the world through a new lens. The pain of my past was no longer holding me hostage, but instead, was fueling my desire to create and connect.
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