Chop Suey (System Of A Down)

2 beers in. The morning had been a blur at FirstLive with Alonzo, where we went live for “Good Morning Bushwick”. My mind was elsewhere, though. A heaviness hung over me like a thick fog, depression and anxiety nipping at the edges of my consciousness. I wanted to scream, to let out the pent-up frustration and sadness that had taken up residence in my chest. Brenna and I had been trying desperately to repair our marriage, but the weight of my sister Angie’s death had left me struggling to stay afloat, drowning in sorrow and an insatiable thirst for alcohol. I craved escape, a reprieve from the relentless onslaught of reality. After taking a long walk, I found myself back in the empty studio space I had been working out of, the familiar surroundings providing some small comfort. With a bag of Coors Light tall cans in hand, I sought solace in their numbing embrace, trying to forget everything happening in my life. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed something more to help me through this dark moment, something to help me release the tension that had built up like a volcano inside me. I turned to the Smule app, a familiar refuge that had helped me relieve anxiety in the past. But this time, I opted to sing without the camera, as I didn’t want anyone to see the broken, vulnerable state I was in. System Of A Down was one of those bands that were “forbidden” by the church, so naturally, I gravitated to them. The raw, unapologetic energy of their music resonated with me, providing a cathartic release for the anger and frustration that festered beneath the surface. “Chop Suey” was queued up, and it seemed the perfect song to match the tumultuous storm of emotions swirling within me. As the opening chords filled my headphones, I let the music wash over me, feeling a shiver of anticipation run down my spine. And then, the session began.

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