"Free The Goat" (2016)

Storm and I would stay in contact, but things weren’t the same. I had become a liability, and regardless of the amazing things I was able to do at Purfek Storm Group, my alcoholism made it difficult for me to make any progress in improving my career and relationships. It was like a dark cloud hovering over me, and I was trapped underneath, powerless to escape. Every day was a struggle, and I often wondered if I would ever find my way out of this self-destructive cycle. Thinking back to the work I had done in Storm’s basement studio, I decided to release my recordings under the album name “Free The Goat.” Although the records seemed like demos and were far from polished, radio-ready material, I needed something to feel as though the time I spent in New Jersey wasn’t wasted. As I gathered up all the WAV files and prepped my BandCamp account, it seemed bittersweet compared to the big picture I had for these songs. I imagined myself on tour, in a Purfek bus, showcasing my talent city to city. But here I was, drunk, in my wife’s family’s house, posting months of work online for free, just to feel as though I was doing something with my life. The truth was that my life had spiraled so far out of control that the thought of going on tour or reaching the heights of success seemed like a distant dream. It hurt, but I couldn’t deny the reality of the situation. My journey wasn’t a straight line. There were ups and downs, setbacks and victories. But with each passing day, I grew more anxious and resentful, and the world of celebrity that I once held in such esteem had eluded me once again.

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