I arrived at Toshi’s Living Room in New York City for Purfek Storm Group’s talent showcase, “The Hump Affair”. I was excited to attend, even though my attempts to host the event had fallen through. Despite not having the “home field advantage”, I was determined to make my presence known. I knew that with the right amount of alcohol, I could charm the crowd and leave a lasting impression. As the night unfolded, various up and coming musical artists took the stage, captivating the audience with their talent. I had my camera on a stick, ready to film the entire event and capture every moment. But as the night went on, I couldn’t shake this feeling of jealousy. It wasn’t me up there on that stage, being celebrated for my talent. I slowly stopped filming, lost in my own thoughts and the drinks I was consuming. I felt so close yet so far from achieving the kind of recognition. I wanted to be in their shoes, to be celebrated and recognized for my own talent. But instead, I was just another face in the crowd, drowning my sorrows in alcohol. Roach TV took the backseat to depression in that moment, and I allowed the way I was feeling to get in the way of the work. It didn’t matter that I was “Roach” with the corner office. I had to reset my mood, and not let it bring me down.

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