Life After Graduation

High school, a time when most teenagers are exploring themselves and the world around them, was a turbulent period for me. I spent most of my years in a long-distance relationship, simping for a girl I believed to be my destiny. A girl who I thought would be my wife. It all began at the engagement party of a mutual friend, where our paths crossed, and I was instantly smitten. Being raised in the church, I was taught that my purpose was either to serve the church exclusively, taking a vow of poverty, or to marry another church member and create more servants for the church. It might sound bizarre to others, but that’s what I believed at the time. I was convinced that this girl and I were meant to be together, and I was willing to endure the emotional torture chamber that our relationship would become. Our bond was intense, and she became my “first” in many things. We spent countless nights indulging in phone sex on a borrowed device that refused to charge during a call. The phone would inevitably die before she reached her climax, leaving me both frustrated and longing for more. Eventually, I managed to acquire my own cell phone, and our late-night escapades continued. Her voice, amplified through the speaker, would send me over the edge in record time. She opened me up to a world of real-life erotica, sending me my first nudes and displacing the hold that pornography once had on me. Our rollercoaster relationship lasted for years, but the constant clash between my dreams of becoming an entertainer and what she considered “real-life goals” kept our worlds apart. Even as a teenager, my overconfidence and extreme self-belief in my ability to make it as an entertainer one day remained unshakable. As much as I thought I loved her, I couldn’t let anyone stand in the way of me getting my “pop.” I didn’t know what direction I was going in, but I had to keep walking. Despite the passion and connection we shared, my pursuit of my dreams and my refusal to compromise eventually drove a wedge between us. I was a young man filled with determination and ambition, unwilling to settle for anything less than my heart’s desires. And as our worlds grew further apart, I couldn’t help but wonder if the love I had for her was strong enough to tether us together, or if my unwavering belief in my destiny would ultimately set us on separate paths.

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